I prayed for the first time in my life tonight … Well it’s not really the first time I’ve prayed in my life. I used to pray my mother would forget whenever she told me she would whoop me when she got home from work as a child. I prayed that the kids wouldn’t talk about my off brand clothes that I wore in middle school, because that was all my mother could afford. I prayed that Dave Chappell would return and do the Chappell Show. I also pray that the Atlanta Falcons will win the Superbowl every year.
See, I’ve prayed before, but tonight was the first time I genuinely meant it. I got down on my knees, closed my eyes, and truly humbled myself. This was the first time I really believed in WHO I prayed to, and WHAT I prayed for.
First, I offer a background for this “Spiritual Breakthrough” as I’ve dubbed it. I grew up in a Christian family just like most black youths in America. My family wasn’t the most devoted Christian family, but Christian nonetheless. My mother made me attend church at a young age and I was even baptized as a child. During this time, as most children, I thought church was boring and would rather watch Sunday morning cartoons than attend. Throughout my childhood and adolescent years I believed in God, but never really questioned my Faith.
Around my junior year in college, I was finally pressured into actually reading the Bible. By the time Adam and Eve had been exiled from the Garden of Eden, I thought I was reading a children’s fantasy book rather than a historical work of nonfiction. Something inside me could not accept the outlandish tales of The Bible. I talked with friends to get their take on the situation, but no one could ever answer my burning questions. If God is all powerful why did he have man to write the Bible? Does the bible really expect me to believe a Senior Citizen built a massive Ark? After awhile,I came to the conclusion that if The Bible cannot be proved,then it must not be true. I renounced my Christian faith and began claiming that I was an Atheist. I watched the movie “Religulous” and this further strengthened my resolve. I spent months trying to discredit the stories in the Bible for either being outlandish or unprovable. I shared my view with Christians and I was met with overwhelming disdain for my beliefs. I was angry and lost, and I resented everyone who could believe in such “Fairy Tales”. There were a few kind Christians who reached out to me, but they could never make me believe in what they believed.
Then one day I woke from a dream. When I awoke, an epiphany suddenly came to me. Things such as dreams and miracles like childbirth are such wonderful occurrences, they must be the work of a higher power. That is when I switched from being an Atheist to an Agnostic. My new take was that I do not know whether God exists or not, because you cannot prove that he does exist and I cannot prove that he doesn’t exist.
I remained Agnostic for almost two years, accepting the fact that I would never know if God existed. All I did know was that I was growing spiritually, but at a snail’s pace. I concluded, there must be a God, how else can we explain all the beauty and the wonder in the world?
I remained fixated in this Spiritual position, neither regressing, but most importantly not Progressing.
That brings me back to the present. I received kind, Godly Christian advice from a friend earlier that day. The typical things Christians say, “Pray about it, he ain’t gone put too much on ya” etc. Even though I’m not a Christian, his words resonated with me because of the recent hard times I have faced. I did not want to be the person that had to lose everything in order to finally turn to God. I decided I would give prayer a shot, but I decided to do a little research on Agnostics who do believe in God first. While researching, I had two uncanny coincidences. The first was an advertisement for a television show where the host and co host had a comical banter about if God exists. I merely smirked and continued reading. Then I had another coincidence. While watching “American Dad”, the show started with a grandson in bed waiting for his grandfather to come and read him a bedtime story. The scene is said to take place in the year 2046. The grandfather enters the room and says “I’ve come to tell you a funny bedtime story, and the grandson replies “Ohhh, tell me the one when people used to believe in The Bible”. The grandfather smiles, and tells the boy ” another time”.
As a detective at heart, I’ve been conditioned to not believe in coincidences. So I believed that it was a sign from God letting me know that I was on the right track.
This brings me back to my first genuine prayer. I finally felt enough conviction to humble myself and pray to the God that I felt would listen. I closed my eyes and apologized to God for not showing him the proper attention he deserved. I asked for forgiveness about being bitter for him not showing me himself and giving me signs. He gives me a sign everyday he wakes me up and has continued to bless me even with acknowledging him. I asked him to forgive me for going against what I believed in my heart to be true. As I prayed, I felt a weight almost literally lift off my shoulders. I cried profusely to the point where my hands were wet with my tears. I sobbed and talked to God and let the tears of doubt leave me.
I have come to the conclusion that no one will ever prove that God exists and no one religion will ever be able to concretely say they are right. I’ve accepted that I am a Spiritual Agnostic. I cannot say who God is for sure, but I BELIEVE that he or she exists. I tried to use being Agnostic as a crutch by saying “I do not know who or what to pray to”. I believe God wants to remain ambiguous. I will continue to strengthen my faith, and I prayed for strength, guidance, and an open mind. I also prayed for the acceptance of religious freedom, even if that freedom is from religion itself. Religion shares it roots with the Latin word “Religare” which means “to bind up, or tie again”. This can literally be understood to mean that religion is when you bind or tie yourself to a God or Gods. In my heart, I never really felt a strong connection to Christianity. What I have taken from Christianity is the morals that it teaches. I believe you should not lie, cheat,kill, steal , and you should honor your parents. It also makes me feel good when I honor these things. I do good because I feel that it is the right thing to do, and not out of fear of eternal damnation. I do not believe that a God should have to bribe or scare a person into doing right. The phrase “Virtue is its own Reward” only strengthens my resolve. The phrase simply means that you should do what is right without expecting a reward. The feeling of bringing someone else Joy is reward enough.
Imagine if you combined all of the major religion’s tenets into one religion gumbo. What similarities would stand out each time you made that gumbo? What would stand out are the simple moral obligations that those religions implore it’s followers to uphold. Don’t kill, don’t lie, don’t steal… Etc.
My point is this, people always focus on the differences of religions rather than seeing why they are truly in place. They are in place to help you become the best person you can be. Here is a quote from Gandhi,
” I came to the conclusion long ago … that all religions were true and also that all had some error in them, and whilst I hold by my own, I should hold others as dear as Hinduism. So we can only pray, if we are Hindus, not that a Christian should become a Hindu … But our innermost prayer should be a Hindu should be a better Hindu, a Muslim a better Muslim, a Christian a better Christian.”
I accept that I am a Spritual Agnostic, which means that I dogmatically assert that I believe in God, he just does not demand belief in his existence. And if he wanted us to know if he truly existed he would have provided us with foreknowledge of his existence, rather than us search for him in a futile effort.
We as human beings share the Earth and I believe that we are born with an innate sense of “goodness” no matter what you choose to believe in. Most importantly, we should understand that while believing and having faith is a key aspect in life, what matters most is what you DO and not what you believe in…
Let’s Begin…. What exactly do I mean by saying “Depreciation of the Vagina”?
It’s a simple concept really, Depreciation is the gradual and permanent decrease in the value of vagina. Vagina that has lost its original value is the #1 cause in women being cheated on/and or dumped by their spouse. In this guide, I plan to give a little insight on how the vagina depreciates in a man’s eyes. Upon reading this, I hope I can reach at least one person…
This can get complicated, so I will relate it with a topic we can all understand, CARS. I’m sure most of you have heard that as soon as you drive a new vehicle off the lot its value drops by thousands of dollars. The same is true with vagina, once a man has sex with a woman for the first time, the value of her vagina drops in his eyes. Depending on how good her vagina is, the value may decline rapidly and steadily. The rate at which the vagina depreciates is based on two factors. The first is based entirely on the woman, i.e how good the vagina is,sex game,benefits she has to the guy. The second factor relies strictly on the man, and the factors that dictate the decline are the man’s…
Demand = How desirable he is to other women, the more desirable the man, the more temptation.
His attention span = How fast he gets bored with the same vagina.
Age = The younger he is, the more he is likely to want to experience new “Vehicles” aka Vagina
You add all these factors into the equation and that is how the depreciation is arrived. It all harkins back to the number one desire for men…. They love NEW Vagina. In regards to car terms, they love that NEW CAR SMELL ;)
VAGINA VALUE : How is the Vagina Valued?
Knowing the value of your Vagina is very important!!!!! There are different ratings depending on the woman.
Top Tier of Vagina= This is the best of the best… A-1 Vagina would definitely have to be that of a virgin… for obvious reasons. Also a female with under 3 sex partners and who has good vagina falls into this category (rare) Every female “thinks” that they fall into this category…. O_O Usually cuffed or Bottom chick status
Middle Tier = This is where most vagina falls in place. Typical type of female, has a reasonable number of past partners and has average sex. Usually has good sex, but bad head or vice versa. Side chick status/ and girlfriend status
Low Bitch on The Totem Pole = These are the worst of the worst…. Vagina ain’t worth shit. Usually are hoes and probably lost count of sex partners. Probably has a good sex game, but you scared of her track record (maybe)
I know some are wondering about my rating system of how you are placed in a particular category. That’s the thing, a man will rate you on all the attributes he thinks you should have. Here is a clever acronym I came up for VAGINA.
V.A.G.I.N.A = Virtually Anything Goes In Naming Aspirants (yes, aspirants)
Every Man should ask for the CATFAX on the vagina. This includes a semi-detailed inquiry into past partners, freak level, and a hoe tendencies evaluation.
How Do I Maintain my Vagina’s Value??
This is also important! Keep up with regular vagina maintenance!! Just like a car needs regular service and “UPKEEP” the woman does too. Too many times a woman gets a good man but she lets herself go (THIS GOES FOR GUYS TOO) People stop doing what they were doing when they first got their car… ie Dressing sexy, staying fit, doing the small things. Instead of maintaining the Vagina, you neglect it and now you are considered a “hoopty” or the “low bitch on the totem pole, (refer above) Here is a list of things that drops the Vagina’s value quickly
1. The ”CAR” smells….. (please get yo vagina re-upholstered i.e douche/soap )
2.Too many previous “owners” ( No man wants a lady with too many past lovers)
3. Body Damage ( keep your face and body up to par)
4. Loose “Tailpipe” ( Don’t be too easy, with ya loose ass)
5. Too high of an APR% ( APR stands for Annual Penis Rate….. :) (basically the same as 2, but it was too clever not to put in)
The Depreciation of the Vagina can be scary to deal with, just like buying a new car. As long as you follow this guide it can help make things a little easier for future transactions.
Damn I wish the world was Perfect, things would be so much better!
There would be no need for meteorologists, We could all predict the weather.
Everyday would be sunny with a crisp beautiful breeze, No need to find shade, so we could do away with the trees.
Singers would sing songs with ease, with no need to rehearse.
What’s the use in practicing? We all have a beautiful singing voice.
There would be no room for dating, we would already have the perfect mate.
Every Man would have a long- haired thick “Redbone”, with the perfect shape.
Every woman would have a man with a car, job, and conversation thats the best. They would never argue, so no need for Make-up sex.
There would be no need for tests, we’d already have the answers. Michael Jackson wouldn’t have set himself apart, we are all amazing dancers.
There would be no disrespect, no turmoil, no treason. And we could wear white pants whenever, they would always be in Season.
You could never fail, so there would be no learning from your mistakes. There wouldn’t be any Blooper reels, movies are all shot in one take.
Perfect is starting to sound not so Perfect anymore. Life is meant to be a journey, you live for you and explore.
If things were perfect, there would be no losses or victory. Everything would be mundane because I am you, and you are ME.
Let’s embrace hurt, sorrow, and pain; and accept scorching hot summer days so we can appreciate the rain.
The world is majestically chaotic, and perfection is not bliss.
Because if the world was meant to be perfect, then we would not Exist…
Hello people… This is a post to show just how bad Black women are losing when it comes to finding a potential Black Man to date. As young girls, Black women have dreams of being swept off their feet and being wooed by the man of their dreams. They have visions of being happily married and settling down before they are 27, (after all her biological clock is ticking). Black women are perfectly fine with being pursued and being taken to dinner that is paid for by a man. They want equal rights, equal pay, and equal status to that of a man. I’m all for the empowerment of women but you all are confusing me!!!!
I’m gone focus on the sisters… Most want to be treated as equals, but how can that be when you all still hold on to outdated gender roles??? Outdated roles such as a man having to always pay for dinner. This even applies to the first date; maybe the person who initiated the date should pay. Beyonce said girls “Run the World”; damn you running the world but you can’t pay for this Pick Three Appetizer?? And why does the man have to almost always pursue the female? I’ve said all that to say that I have some figures and stats that should change the game up. Females… it may be time for you all to start pursuing guys. Wait!!!! Don’t stop reading! Let me explain.
According to the U.S Census, there are approximately 40 million African Americans in the United States. Females make up 52.40% or 20,960,000, while the men make up 47.60% or 19,040,000. That’s strike one, there are already more females than men.
Now let’s take into account that there are more black men in prison, than there were in Slavery in 1860. Let me say that again, it’s more Black men in prison than there were on plantations back in the day. Black men make up about 35% of the 2.3 million prison inmates in America, that’s 814,200 black men in jail…. Strike Two
I know women love a man with a good head on his shoulders, and who may have a college degree. Well… only about 15% of Black men have a college degree… Damn. Strike motherfucking 3. Throw all the Gay men in the mix, the ugly dudes, the married (Happily), and lames… then yall have only about 1,000 to choose from! Ok I’m exaggerating on only 1,000, but you see my point. There are way less men to choose from than women, so yall need to be more proactive in your search. Lol. Moral of the story is, Damn Black Women, yall losing….
Since our Black men are losing, it trickles down to the women losing. So who is #Winning ???? Nobody is winning because we are in it together; we have to find ways to change those ugly statistics. Who is gone help WE?
Welcome to my world, better yet my fucking universe.
Poetry off the top of the dome nigga no Rehearse
Yeah I write poems but I am not a poet, rather have some wine, grab a glass and then I pour it
My life is moving fast, I drive the car I fucking floor it. Plenty of bumps in the road, but I endure it
Who said you couldn’t freestyle a poem? There’s lightning in my mind, yeah you know… Brainstorm ,Hell yeah im hot, while you other niggas Lukewarm
Ok… I think I hit a block, im tired of writing this, so I guess I just stop…
Wait, was this a poem or a Rap??